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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300244">Bad Habits</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BizzaBoo/pseuds/BizzaBoo'>BizzaBoo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Childhood Trauma, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fred Weasley Lives, Muggle Reader, Muggle/Wizard Relations, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Protective Fred Weasley, Protective George Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:09:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300244</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BizzaBoo/pseuds/BizzaBoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fred tries to make you see that your past does not define who you are. You have a hard time believing that what you have could last forever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fred Weasley/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bad Habits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey guys! First time writing for Harry Potter and I hope I did it justice. </p><p>I’m a George girl at heart but every time I picture this I saw Fred as the boyfriend of the character. </p><p>This is inspired by Bad Habits by The Federal Empire so I recommend listening to it before reading. </p><p>English is not my first language and I don’t think I’ve proof read it in detail so there may be some mistakes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Winter had finally taken England in its grasp, the snow lying like a comfortable blanket on the streets and the air had a frosty bite to it, leaving rosy colored cheeks in its way.<br/>
Your bare inked arms rose in goosebumps as you leaned out of the window of your flat, smoke from the cigarette between your fingers filling your senses as you did everything you could to calm your trembling body. </p><p>It wasn’t the cold winter wind that had your limbs shaking and teeth shattering against each other as you took another drag from said cigarette. Anxiety was flowing through every limb and making it hard to complete even the most simple tasks and had your head racing in a hundred miles per hour without showing any sign to stop and to just let you breathe.<br/>
This was not a foreign feeling, far from it.<br/>
Growing up you had always walked around with that hand squeezing inside your chest that made it hard to breathe, a nauseating feeling in your gut and your head spinning to fast for you to even comprehend what was happening around you. Don’t even get started on the panic attacks.<br/>
Life hadn’t really been all that fair to your younger self, being tossed around half of England by the foster care system and different families that just couldn’t handle the pressure that came with taking in a troubled young child, therefore sending you back after just a few months. It never grew to be easier, having to reroot yourself just to have it ripped up at the beginning of its growing process just a short while later and by one point you just stoped trying. You shut yourself off and became a shell, but the anxiety never left. No matter how hard you tried to close of all of it, the good and the bad, that air stealing and painful wringing feeling never left your side. Just like and old uninvited friend it followed you around and made the dreadful life you already had unbearable.<br/>
To make it stop you turned to the one thing you could think of that could overpower the emotions and maybe make you forget about all of the thing you didn’t want to remember.  And so come, at the age of fourteen, alcohol became your new best friend. </p><p>You became what you had always dreaded. You became like your parents.<br/>
The worst part about it was that it felt good. Not really feeling anything and not remembering how the day before unfolded had you gaining a sort of fixity to the world. One that may be insalubrious but it was the first time in your life that you felt like you had a ground to stand on, staunch enough that the thought of leaving it gave you cold feet. </p><p>For four years you lived like that, dropped out of school to hang with people who provided you with temporary love and a place to sleep. Consuming substances daily and being dragged into shit you didn’t have a say in and getting hurt in the process. But it didn’t matter because you couldn’t feel it. </p><p>The times that you did though you welcomed it. That old friend that was always creeping just beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment of frailty to take back its grasp on you. Often you let it have a moment, just for reminiscens sake, only to grab the first acrid bottle that stood the closest and it was all swept away. </p><p>A bitter and soundless laugh left your lips. How you where even alive still was quite a mystery to be honest reminiscing to your old life.<br/>
A lot of memories was still noticeable of it, the tattoos littered across your skin was a dead giveaway of what kind of life you’ve had and the misstakes you’ve made. Not that you where ashamed of them, not a single one. They where a part of you in more ways than one and reminded you everyday of the battles you had fought, even tough some of them covered the real scars that also adorned your body, hidden with ink even before they where fully healed.<br/>
It had been a bloody hell of a life to say the least. </p><p>The cigarette in your hand had started to burn at the filter so you flicked it away and picked up the package with the remaining fags and placed a new one between your lips as your hands rose to light it up.<br/>
Taking a full and long drag you reminded yourself of how it all ended. </p><p>There had been a fight one night, of what it was about you could not remember, but it had ended up with you being kicked out, pissed beyond comprehension and with a broken nose.<br/>
With blood dripping down your face you had stumbled around the London streets barefoot in the middle of the night, a trail of red in your tracks leaving the only evidence of your escape trough the night.</p><p>That was how Fred and his brother had found you. Mumbling and cursing at nothing as you tried and failed to find your footing. They had been amused at first, it was the night of a weekend and they had also visited a pub on the muggle side of London to unwind after a hard week, both still haunted by the wounds the war had left them with only six moths prior, but quite quickly had they realized that this was not just another tipsy youngster like the other people they had met though the night. This was something much more alarming and it only took one look between the twins for them to understand that they had to help the young girl. </p><p>That had been over a year ago. Getting sober had been the best but also the most crucial thing to go trough. Everyday was a new battle and most nights one of the brothers had to physically hold you down to prevent you from doing something they knew you would regret.<br/>
You had relapsed once and the guilt and shame you had felt when they had found you curled up in the kitchen with two empty bottles of firewhisky by your feet and another half drunk bottle of something else in your hand was enough to never ever want to touch another bottle of alcohol again. The hangover that followed was also something that you would never forget.<br/>
It was the morning after that dreadful night that you realized that you and Fred had something more going on than just friends. Even in your drunken and guilty crying mess state you could not miss how it was Fred who took care of you, with George working as an extra safety net in the background. Fred had talked you down, tried to comfort you the best he could and had just held you as tight as he could, like you would slip trough his fingers if he let up.<br/>
It had stirred a new feeling in you, something gravely unfamiliar. It made you act out on your feelings for the first time in your life and with your trebling limb you grabbed Freds hand just to intertwine your fingers with his. Just as afraid as the older boy.<br/>
You had woken up in his bed the morning after with Freds arms around you and never really left. </p><p>The sound of the front door being unlocked had you coming back to reality and you turned your head slightly but kept one arm stretched outside the still open window to not let to much smoke into the flat.<br/>
Two heads of red hair could be seen entering the hall and you gave them both a small smile as they made their ways to their rooms to change before turning your head back outside the window.<br/>
You finished your cigarettet and deemed that you had been standing by the widow far too long before shutting it with a soft tug.</p><p>”If I remembered correctly you told me only yesterday that you would like to cut down on your bad habits love” a voice said from behind you with a hint of amusement.<br/>
You turned around to face Fred only to be met with him watching the half drunken Redbull can you had left on the counter with raised brows and a small smirk on his face.</p><p>You knew he was only kidding you, that he would have you high on caffein rather than whatever was in your system the day you met and he always told you that neither the  smell nor the taste of the cigarettes you smoked bothered him, but you still wondered. You really had some bad habits that you picked up on over the years, some old and some new. Both smoking regular cigarettes and drinking to much coffee or Redbull was two of your new habits, some things to help you cope with the day. Albeit small loads they still made you nervous that Fred would one day have enough and just quit you, just to show how easy it is to get rid of the habits you didn’t want. That little monster on your shoulder reminded you daily that you weren’t enough and you where just waiting for the day that Fred and George would see it too. </p><p>You gave him a dramatic pout and went in to crab said can as you prop your hip agains the counter.</p><p>”I’m trying” you muttered agains the opening of the can as you took a swing of the liquid inside and looked at him. He had changed out from his work attire and was now sporting a pair of worn out jeans and a simple shirt.<br/>
”I know you do darling” he closed the distance between you and crowded you agains the counter, words and eyes filled with so much adoration and pride that it almost made you loose your breath. </p><p>He placed one of his hands agains you cheek and the other on your hip as he bent down to place a soft kiss agains your hairline. </p><p>This man. As much as he was playful and gave away the vibe of not having a single care to the world, he was equally as charming and loving to the ones closest to him. He made you weak in a way you never thought was possible and it made you scared.<br/>
You had gotten mad at him at first, doing everything on your power to make him see how awful and full of shit you really where, but he had seen right trough you. No matter how annoyed or angry he got at you he never lashed out, not once. Witch albeit made you even more angry before he called you out on your bullshit.<br/>
You would do anything for this man, he had such power over you and he didn’t even seem to realize it. One word and you would quit everything, just for him. You where sure that he would be the death. </p><p>”Are you ready for tonight?” He whispered agains your forehead and once again you where reminded of why you ended smoking up half your pack of cigarettes in one go.<br/>
He must have felt the small tremors surging trough your body because he released your cheek and embraced you in a hug.<br/>
You returned the hug and breathed him in. It smelled like home. </p><p>”I don’t think I’m ever gonna be ready” you confessed against his chest and you heard it rumble lowly as he gave away a small chuckle. </p><p>”They are gonna love you” he said and rested his cheek atop of your head. </p><p>Today was a big day, one you had been dreading for about six months, it was today that you would meet the parents.<br/>
You had never done good with them, given the lack of any of your own and your history involving any kind of adults. They had a tendency to give you a once over, deciding at the first given moment that you weren’t even worth the mud under their boots. And they judged, all from your tattoos to your piercing, the choice of clothing to hair and makeup. Not once had she felt accepted by her so called superior and she feared that this case would be no different. Both Fred and George had tried to convince you that Molly and Arthur Weasley wasn’t your average parents. That they had been trough seven children that all except the twins was nothing like their other siblings and that they where really open minded for a pure blooded wizard family with Arthurs job position and love for anything that had to do with muggles.<br/>
But not only where you a so called muggle, you where a tainted one as you liked to call it, something the twins had tried to make you stop with. You where not something the ordinary world liked to accept so how could the magic one?<br/>
But this was like a milestone for you and both the psychiatrist and the rehabilitations facility deemed you fit enough to take the next step into ”the real world” as they called it. You where showing progress in therapy by opening up more and letting people in and you hadn’t had a mishap in your rehabilitation plan since the two bottles of firewhisky about seven months prior. You where ready they all said, but where they right?<br/>
It wasn’t like you had been isolated from the world, you went to your meeting weekly on the muggle side of London as well as a psychiatrist here in diagonally alley that the boys helped you with. You had gotten a small job at a library sorting out and labeling books, a job the facility had fixed you up with once you had been sober for three months.<br/>
The thing was that you had been to afraid to meet any other member in the twins family, you didn’t want to show up at their doorstep just to freak out a minute later and lash out. Something your therapist had agreed with you on up until a month ago when she told you that she thought it would be good for me to expand my social cirkel.<br/>
The twins had been ecstatic, having told their family almost all about you and they swore that they where really exited to finally meet you.<br/>
But standing here, a merely an hour before they where to show up at the Burrow you weren’t so sure you had it in you to do this anymore. </p><p>”What if they don’t? What will they think of my ink, or my piercings? What if they hate them? What if they have me take them out or cover up?” You confessed and looked up at him with pleading eyes, trying to put into one look how much this was taking on you.</p><p>”Well” he started thoughtful as he peered down at you as he started to trace the inked lines on one of your sleeves, something that you had come to realized soothed him.<br/>
”I’m quite fond of your pierced nipples, shame if you had to get rid of them” he said as he gave me those sad puppy eyes, but the smirk on his lips gave in and his face lit up in a wide grin.</p><p>”Fred!” You exclaimed as you tried to wiggle yourself from his arms. ”I’m trying to be serious right now!” You hit him on the chest with your hands as he burst out laughing.</p><p>”I promise you love, mum and dad would never hade you cover up or take the jewelry you have out. They don’t care about that, all they care about is that you are happy and that you make me happy” he had taken ahold of you hands now and was once again giving you that amused little smile with eyes so bright that you could get lost in them.</p><p>You trusted Fred, with all your might and life, but that didn’t mean that he was right about his parents reaction to you. </p><p>Regardless of your hesitation you nodded at him, giving a small smile you hoped was convincing but to judge of the change in his eyes you guessed that it wasn’t convincing enough.</p><p>He gave you a long and hard kiss and you hoped that he would still hold you like this after the evening was done.<br/>
”You’ll see,” he said as you parted, ”They will love you almost as much as I do.” </p><p>*</p><p>Apparating was not something you where fond of. The sensation of your body morphing and shifting in such a unnatural way jut to be put back together like nothing had happened left a bad taste in your mouth and an upset stomach.<br/>
You stumbled as the three of you landed just outside the gates that led to the front lawn of the Burrow, the childhood home of your best friends.<br/>
The shattering of your teeth let up for a moment as you took it all in. The house was big and looked more homey and warm than anything you had ever seen.<br/>
George opened the front gate and started make his way up to the front door, while Fred stayed put by your side as he let you take it all in. </p><p>He knew about your childhood, how drastically different it had been compared to his own and he wanted you to have this. The feeling of a family that you could lean on when times got hard and not having too feel like you had to take care of everything all by yourself. But he didn’t want to scare you. The Weasley family was not known for being quiet and calm and he didn’t want it all to overwhelm you. So he stayed put, let you take in everything until it seemed like there was noting left to observe before he gently took your hand and nudged you forward. With slow steps you neared where George had stopped to wait for you just outside the front door. He gave you an encouraging smile before he grasped the handle and pushed the door open.<br/>
The smell that hit you made you halter in your steps and Fred squeezed your hand in comfort. The feeling och warmth and love washed over you and you couldn’t help but smile as you let your sensen waft around the warmly lit room. </p><p>Nothing about the house made sense, everything from the levels asymmetrically toppled on top of each other to me mis matched furniture and home made craft littering the spaces, but it was literally perfect in your eyes. </p><p>As your eyes wandered around the room Fred stepped behind you to help you off with your coat. George had disappeared through one of the many openings leading from the open space where you where currently at. </p><p>”What do you think?” You heard Fred ask you and you turned to him with the biggest smile on your lips.</p><p>”This is amazing” you breathed at him as you stretched your arms out as if to say ”do you believe this?!”. </p><p>He chuckled at your childlike expression as he hung up your coats on one of the raks before turning to you again. </p><p>”It’s not really much, but it is home” he admitted sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. He wasn’t embarrassed about his childhood home but he couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t enough, like he had to explain himself while being in it. </p><p>You looked at him with such adoring eyes that he knew that you had fell involve with the house just as he had learned to love it as a child and knowing that made him feel all warm inside. He didn’t think he could love the young woman any more than he already did, but it seemed that she surprised him with something new everyday that made him love her more. </p><p>You where so caught up in the moment that you almost didn’t hear the footsteps coming from the entrance George had left trough only minutes before.</p><p>”Fred! Oh how lovely it is to see you! Come here my boy!” A woman’s voice gushed and you felt all of the blood drain from your face and your body became stiff. </p><p>Fred greeted his mother with an eye roll as he hugged her and kissed her cheek. </p><p>As they separated she took a hold of his face in both of her hands and gently squeezed his cheeks. </p><p>”All grown up and too busy to visit their poor old mother, shame on you my boy” she tutted with a playful smile and patted Fred on his cheek before letting him go. Fred huffed as he straightened himself and was about to answer his mother when her attention shifted to you.</p><p>”And this must be Y/N!” She continued and you swear that the world just stopped. Or maybe it was just your heart. Either way it felt like you where once again a small child being taken away from your parents all over again, helpless and confused.<br/>
Mrs Weasley took you in with kind but calculating eyes before she broke into a huge kind smile.</p><p>”Oh my what a lovely young lady! Such beautiful eyes you have my darling. Can I give you a hug?” She watched your reaction with careful eyes as to not make you to uncomfortable. She faltered a little when you didn’t answer and her gaze shifted between you and Fred.<br/>
The question was not expected from your side and it took you a moment before you could even comprehend that what she was asking. With frightened eyes you gave the woman a small nod at it was all that she needed before she tenderly but still strongly, like only a mother can, embraced you.<br/>
At first you didn’t respond back, but who could really blame you? This was the first time in your life that a mother figure had touched you with nothing but love and affection. Fred had made you relearn how gentle human kind could really be, with his soft caresses and playful kisses, but this. This was a whole other level of tenderness.</p><p>Still frozen in place you met Georges eyes over his mothers shoulders and he watched the whole ordeal with a gentle smile. He gave you a small nod as to say ”go on, she doesn’t bite” and with that you gently returned Mrs Weasleys hug and as you did her grip grew stronger on your fragile body. </p><p>You felt your eyes starting to burn and with the fear of any tears spilling over you hid your face in Mrs Weasleys shoulder as she just held you. For how long you did not know, but bloody hell did it feel good. You could literally feel how an old facade of yours just cracked then and there, making room for a new and warm feeling. It made your body tremble for a whole other reason. </p><p>Breaking apart the older woman took your face in her hands, much like she had done to Fred just moments before, and stroked your cheeks. You could see tears that had formed in her eyes and you wanted to ask her why she was crying, but held back for the sake of the moment. And for the fear that once you opened your mouth or said the wrong thing that she would take back the cozyness she had brought you. </p><p>”My boys has told us such good things about you my dear, it feels like I already know you” she whispered as her hands fell from your face and took a hold of your hands. </p><p>You got a little lost in her gaze, subconsciously wondering what her true intentions where, that you almost forgot that you probably should answer her.</p><p>”Must have been a quick chat” the words tripped out of your mouth in a slight stutter, something that they often did since getting sober, but you hoped that Mrs Weasley would catch on to the smal joke and not focus too much on your speaking. </p><p>Her eyes crinkled as she smiled. ”Your are ought to learn that these two never settles for a quick chat, especially not when the topic involves you” she gave her son, that still stood beside you with a hand against your lover back, a knowing look.<br/>
”You have really changed their lives Y/L, all for the good. Plus it will be nice to finally have a little more of a feminine touch into the family. It’s a wonder that Ginny and I haven’t gotten out of our minds with these troublemakers” she squeezed your hands one last time before letting go and turning towards what you assumed was the kitchen doorway. </p><p>”Fred, show the girl around the house would you! I would love for her too feel at home here! And you George, help me set up the table will you” she continued talking all the way into the kitchen and George followed her, but not before giving you both a put out expression. </p><p>A deep breath that you didn’t know you where holding was released from your body, and beside you Fred did the same. Even though he knew that meeting his mother wouldn’t go anything but fantastic he was still worried about you. This was big and last thing he wanted was to cause you a setback when you where doing so well. </p><p>”One down, one to go” Fred mumbled in your ear, making you nervously chuckle. You felt him kiss the side of your head and mumble a ”doing so good” as he did. </p><p>”Will meeting your dad be equally as emotional?” You tried to joke but it fell flat between you.<br/>
Fred, bless his soul, laughed at you attempt anyway. ”Nah” he said, ”he will probably just say that it’s nice too meet you and then go on to ask you about muggle stuff” he shrugged and started to lead you more into the house.<br/>
The statement made you relax a bit. Questions, if not too personal, you could handle a lot better than emotions. Even if the moment you shared with Mrs Weasley was something you would store in your heart for as long as you lived. </p><p>Fred stayed true to his mothers words and showed you around the Burrow until you joined the others is the kitchen.<br/>
Arthur had joined the other two and was at the moment seated at the head of the long table as he told his wife and son about his day. He didn’t even notice at first that you and Fred had joined them, but once Molly pointed out that their sons had bought a guest he all but stopped and turned towards you.<br/>
He fixed you with curious eyes equally as warm as his wife’s as he rose from the char he had been seated on.<br/>
”Arthur Weasley at your service. You must be Y/N, correct?” He stated as he reached one of his big hands towards you in an offer to shake it.<br/>
With little hesitation you took it and nodded your head.<br/>
”Nice to meet you Mr Weasley” his hand was rough, but not in a aggressiv way but more like someone who had worked hard to be where he was at the moment. Both of the parents did and you found yourself gaining a lot of respect for the two adults. </p><p>”Nonsense my dear!” You heard the other woman in the house protest. The outburst made you drop the older mans hand in fear as you turned with big eyes toward her.<br/>
You expected her to be angry but instead you found her gaze to be determined in a soft kind of way.</p><p>”It’s Molly and Arthur for you. At least until the day you are comfortable enough to call us the same as our children” Molly tutted like it was the most logical thing in the world as she continued with plating the food on the table.<br/>
”Bloody hell woman, scare her half to death will you” George scolded his mother with a small huff as he took in your reaction with a careful look as Fred hugged your hand in his. </p><p>You didn’t know how to tell them that you where fine so you just gave them both a gentle smile, making them both relax again.</p><p>You didn’t have the time to answer to Mollys request though, because just as you where to open you mouth another voice rose into the air. </p><p>”What is that?” Arthur asked with his eyes fixed on the dark lines escaping from underneath the hoodie you had decided to wear today. The lines that was harder to hide due to them having been drawn further down on the back of your hand.<br/>
You looked down at them. This was something you could answer, your tattoos had been a conversation starter in many different situations but you still hadn’t quite figured out where this one would lead.<br/>
A thickness set itself over the room, all seemed a bit worried about the situation. Well all but Arthur himself that seemed to be ignorant to the eerie silence his question had brought.<br/>
Molly was watching it all with worrying eyes, afraid that her husband would scare you with his all too forward attitude. The twins, ready to intervene if the hand started to squeeze too hard. And you, scared of what kind of reaction your answer would get. </p><p>”They, ah. They are called tattoos” you answered after a long moment.<br/>
This was the moment you had been waiting for, where it would come to either give or brake. You would have hoped to be cornered with this much further down the night, after Arthur and Molly got to really see you before they saw the tattoos but you guessed that it would be better to face the music rather than beating around it.</p><p>Arthur got a thoughtful expression on his face. ”I’m afraid that I don’t know what tatsoos are” he admitted with a little shame. His name mishap made you smile, but you didn’t bother to correct him. This reaction so far you could do. Hope started to build in your chest and with it a bit of courage.</p><p>”It’s like paint on your arms” you smiled at him in hope that this explanation would get to him.<br/>
Arthur looked even more confused. ”So you paint your arms everyday with paint.” </p><p>Behind him George snorted. ”Like Witty here could paint anything more advanced than a stick figure.” Just like that all the tension disappeared from the room as the brothers laughed at the remark and Molly watched them with a fond but disappointed look before returning to the food. </p><p>You gave the twins a feign hurt face. ”Don’t mock the stick figures” you grumbled a little annoyed witch only fueled the boys jeering. You did not mind to be honest, so used to their playful acts that you didn’t take it to heart. You had to try hard to suppress the grin that treated to break out on your face. </p><p>”No” you answer Arthur. ”They are permanent, it doesn’t come of” you smiled gently at him. </p><p>”Can I see them, the paint?” He asked, exited to learn something new and before totally unknown to him. </p><p>You hesitated at first. Your sleeves was some good work, the finest tattoos you had, but it still didn’t mean that the older ones would appreciate them. But Arthur was watching you with such kind and open eyes that you just couldn’t deny him this knowledge. </p><p>As you nodded your hands started to roll upp the sleeves of your hoodie and as more ink was exposed, the bigger Arthurs eyes got. He almost looked like a small child on Christmas Day. </p><p>”Fascinating” he whispered as he took in your exposed arms. ”How do they stay on?” </p><p>You huffed out a small laugh. ”It’s quite the process to be honest, it’s a lot to go trough” you admitted. </p><p>Arthur only shook his head and started to lead you to the kitchen table and gestured for you to sit down at one of the chairs near him. </p><p>”I want to know everything” he said and how could you deny that. </p><p>A while later you turned to watch Fred as he helped his mother with the finishing touches on the dinner plates.<br/>
As if he could feel your gaze he turned to you and smiled.<br/>
And with with Arthurs voice in the background and Freds eyes connected to yours you couldn’t help to feel like maybe it would all turn out okay after all. </p><p> </p><p>”Mum really did outdo herself tonight, I still feel like I could burst from how full I am” Fred moaned as he flopped down beside you on the bed. </p><p>The dinner had emotionally drained you and as soon as the three of you got back to the flat you had excused yourself and tucked into bed after removing the makeup and changed into sweats. But you where content and happy as you cuddled into the comforter.<br/>
Fred had let you have a moment, showering and changing into nightwear before joining you.<br/>
”It was really good” you agreed as you let one of your hands rake through his soft damp hair. The red burning like a fire from the small lights shining from your nightstands.<br/>
He hummed happily and closed his eyes. </p><p>Although you where exhausted after tonights emotional roller-coaster, you knew Fred was equally as tired, even if he didn’t show it. He had really wanted that tonight would go to plan and even if he knew that his parents wouldn’t be anything but supportive of you, there was still this small voice inside his head that told him that something would go wrong. </p><p>”How are you feeling?” He mumbled tiredly as he peered up at you.<br/>
You thought about it for a moment, but decided to answer as honest as you could.</p><p>”Happy” you said and smiled at him. A smile he returned so bright that you feared that your heart would beat right out of your chest. The affect this boy had on you was ridiculously out of this world. </p><p>”That makes me both proud and happy to hear you say” he said as he stretched is neck to give you a kiss. You hummed happily as his lips met yours. </p><p>”What about you?” You retorted as your lips disconnected.<br/>
He huffed as he rearranged your bodies so that his head was reasting on your chest, his arms holding on to you like a koala bear. </p><p>”I’m quite glad that it is over to be honest. My parents can be a lot to handle but you handled it like a champ” he said as he squeezed you tighter.</p><p>Warmth blossomed in your chest at his words. You where quite proud of yourself, you had to admit that. </p><p>”Besides, now that meeting mum and dads out of the way it’s just the rest of the clan left” your movements faltered. For a few blissful hours you had convinced yourself that it was all okey, but Fred had to remind you that not only did he and George have both their parents by their sides, but five siblings. All with their respective partners.<br/>
You where fully aware of this, but you had hoped to live inside you bubble for at least a few days before Fred brought it up.</p><p>”What if I don’t want to meet them?” You said quietly, trying to mask how scared it really made you. </p><p>Fred snorted, a very unattractive sound that you had come to find adorable. </p><p>”You have to meet them, Ron wants you to learn him how to play poker.” </p><p>This made you burst out a laugh. </p><p>”Way to impress your siblings by telling that the ex-junkie that you are dating also participated in illegal underground poker games” you joked, but underneath that facade you could feel how the hand started to ever so gently started to push at your insides. </p><p>Fred, not liking the change in the atmosphere, rose from your chest to give you a look. </p><p>”There is nothing wrong with the life you’ve lived Y/N, nothing about it to be ashamed of because you didn’t choose it for yourself. Other people did, grown up people who should have taken care of you and guided you. Instead they tossed a child into despair and you did what you could to survive it. So please, I know it’s hard but don’t talk about it like it’s all your fault because it is not” the sincereness in his words had you stop for a second time tonight.<br/>
Fred had always been vocal about that you should be as open as you desired about your past. That you should be the one to decide what and how you wanted to talk about it, but never had he been the one to bring it up like that.<br/>
When you made a degrading reference to your old life and self he would just tell you to not be so hard on yourself and to try to change your thoughts to something more positive.<br/>
You could feel that this has been something he has been carrying around for some time by the look of it, his posture seemed to relax just the slightest and his breathing got deeper. </p><p>The old you would have lashed out on him for making such rash and bold statements. You would have screamed at him, threatened him and maybe even manipulated him into blackmail just to prove him wrong. But the person sitting on the bed, half caged in to the madrass by Freds arms and body, was someone you where still in the process of getting to know but you knew that those kind of reactions where long gone. The person on the bed was someone who at least tried to get along with her real emotions.</p><p>You flung your arms around Freds middle, making him almost loose his breath by the force of it all, and stuffed your face into the crook of his neck and just held on. </p><p>Once again Fred rearranged your bodies, but this time so that he was lying on his back with you betweens his legs, resting on all of his body as you held each other tight. </p><p>”I’m sorry” you whispered into his neck after a few minutes. You didn’t really know why, but you felt like it was expected of you.<br/>
Fred sighed as he started to trace the all too familiar lines inside your left upper arm where the grey scaled Lilly was forever etched onto your skin. You think that he has traced every line of every tattoo you have on your body at least once, but the Lilly was his favorite one. Why you didn’t know, but it could have something to do with the small lines hidden underneath the ink. </p><p>”I don’t want you to be sorry, or tell me that because you think it’s what I want to hear. I want you to see the things that I see. What Georges sees and what my mum and dad got to see today. You are so much more than you past my love, but you just don’t see it.” He emphasized on the last part, and taking on hand to remove your face from it’s hiding place. </p><p>”You lot is all I have. I just hope that you never wake up one morning and decides to finally quit me” you confessed as your eyes met.<br/>
Before he could argue you continued on.<br/>
”I’m a bad habit Fred. I chain smoke, used to drink to much and haven’t really had the best of luck in life until I met you. I could cheat you over in poker in fifty different ways before you could even register what happened. I often stay up half of the nights because I’ve either drunken too much red bull or coffee witch makes it impossible to settle down when the night falls. I really am a mess, you can’t possibly be that naive that you don’t see that” you had to make him see. This was just not something for the moment, these where things that probably live with you for the rest of your life. Some things may switch up a little by time, but probably not by much. </p><p>Fred studied you for a while, as if he was taking it all in before a grin broke out on his face.</p><p>”You are my mess though” he said and wiggled his eyebrows.<br/>
You snorted at him.<br/>
”Out of everything I just said that is what you got of it” you said with a roll of your eyes.<br/>
”Maybe you should be the one to visit Dr. Roberts on Monday. You clearly have a problem with listening to what people around you has to say to you” you continued and grinned back at him.<br/>
This is what you loved about your relationship. You knew what the other needed in almost every situation and played on that, but in the end you still got to be there and comfort each other. You just did it in your own way. </p><p>He threw his head back in annoyance.</p><p>”When are you going to understand woman. I love you too much to let those silly things get into the way. And besides, you have too keep me and George in line every single day. That’s a task on its own right there that would make any sane lady leave. But not you. You just get us and lets us test out all our insane products even if you think they are mental. And after every failed attempt you always gets us back up again. You are the reason the shop is up an running because I don’t think we would have ever had it in us to open it again after the war if we hadn’t met you. You made both me and Georgie feel whole again after everything. And besides, I fell in love with you because of who you are, not as something that I could fix and mold into the perfect missy, witch I now you somehow imagined in the beginning that I wanted. I love you” his little speech had made him a little winded and you could feel his chest rise and fall in fast puffs underneath your own body. </p><p>He swallowed and brought you closer together so that your foreheads where touching.</p><p>”Why can’t you just see that I want you for you, bad habits be damned. If it means that I can wake up beside you everyday for the rest of my life, or at least in the same space as you. I don’t give a flying fuck about your habits. Can’t you just see that” he begged you. </p><p>Tears had started too burn in the corners of your eyes. You where right, this man would be the death of you. </p><p>You kissed his nose gently, a mall peck really. You did the same with his forehead and at the corners of his mouth as the first tears slowly made its way down your cheek.<br/>
Finally you placed a tender kiss to his lips. It was so sure and told him everything you just couldn’t form into actual worlds just jet. As he responded to the kiss with the same kind of energy you knew that he had gotten it. </p><p>As you two laid there in your bed, all tabled up into each other you couldn’t help but to think how lucky you finally had become. </p><p>And maybe, just maybe, you could finally take your life back from your old unwelcome friend.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you made it this far! </p><p>Thank You for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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